A LIVERPOOL FAN WALKS INTO THE LOCAL DOLE OFFICE, MARCHES STRAIGHT UP TO THE COUNTER TO COLLECT HIS GIRO AND SAYS "HI...YA KNOW, I JUST HATE CLAIMING BENEFITS. I'D REALLY RATHER HAVE A JOB." The lady behind the counter says, "Your timing is excellent. We just got a job opening from a very wealthy old man who wants a chauffeur and bodyguard for his nymphomaniac daughter. You'll have to drive around in his Mercedes or his Rolls, he'll supply all of your clothes, credit cards and money. Because of the long hours, all your meals will also be provided. You'll be expected to escort the beautiful daughter on her overseas holiday trips, you'll have to satisfy all of her needs including any "physical" urges. You'll have a two-bedroom apartment above the garage and the starting salary is £200,000 a year" The LIVERPOOL FAN says, "You're bullsh!ttin' me!" The lady says, "YEAH, BUT YOU STARTED IT".